Still the same for 2012.
Fear my wrath…
Please keep in mind that these Commandments were translated from the original stone tablets, which were written in Yiddish (Which is odd, since I don’t actually speak Yiddish) in the First Century B.C. For that reason, the additional translation to Modern English is provided.
Thou shalt followeth these Commandments I hath set forth, or feareth my wrath.
So sayeth the GearMan
TRANSLATION: Don’t mess with us- We have your stuff.
1)Thou shalt PACKETH LIGHT, or feareth my rock!
TRANSLATION: You don’t need half that stuff, GET RID OF IT!
2) Thou shalt be responsible for putting thine own luggage on the Gear Truck each morning.
TRANSLATION: If you don’t give us your stuff in the morning, we can’t give it back to you in the afternoon.
3) Thou shalt remember that we do not worketh for the airlines, and shall not loseth thy luggage.
TRANSLATION: If you follow commandment #2, your stuff will be there at the days end.
4) Thou shalt NOT putteth thy luggage on the Gear Truck ‘fore thou hast all thou needeth out of it.
TRANSLATION: We literally PILE luggage into a 28 foot box-truck, to the point of 80-90% full- You CAN’T get your bag back once it’s in there.
5) Thou shalt NOT tieth thy bags together
TRANSLATION: If you’re bringing a couple small bags instead of one large one, tying them together makes them VERY difficult to handle- We have to handle the luggage of 150+ people twice a day- PLEASE be considerate.
6) Thou shalt putteth thy shoes in the shoe-bucket, NOT tieth them to, or packeth them IN your luggage
TRANSLATION: If you don’t want your clothes to smell like your shoes, let your shoes smell like everyone else’s.
7) Thou shalt readeth the “Daily info cards” on the Gear Truck each morning
TRANSLATION: We’re going to tell you everything you need to know about the day ahead of you- It’s your responsibility to LISTEN
8) Thou shalt writeth thy name on thy luggage, and thou shalt VERIFY thy name before taking said luggage from the Gear Truck
TRANSLATION: We’ve all heard this at the Airport… “Many bags look alike…” Sing along if you know the words…
9) Thou shalt remember that thou CAN NOT get to thy luggage during the day
TRANSLATION: If you’re going to need something during the day, or bring spare parts, etc. you should leave them with the Rest Stop, Mechanic, or sweep vehicles, NOT the Gear Truck.
10) Thou shalt Haveth a great ride!
TRANSLATION: Really! You will!